Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Nothing

That would seem to be the theme of today. As in...
... there is nothing wrong with you
... there is nothing we can do for you
... there is nothing I can recommend
... there is nothing I can tell you

Nothing is pretty much what I got from my Dr. today. Sorry, he did recommend some cognative therapy(which I won't try) or accupunture (which I may try), but other than that he asked me what I thought was wrong. So I guess I could say I am a little angry. I did do another blood test today to see if my levels are dropping or not, as there is still a possibility that I am not miscarrying, but given how I feel and the events of past miscarriages, I would say I am pretty much on the mark.

Angry. Yep, I am angry. There is no other word to discribe what I am feeling. My Dr. did suggest going through another round of ivf as that seemed to work for us. When I asked if it was on the house, he laughed. I told him that our first round was our only round unless we had a big cash winfall. And the hope of more children just intensified when we could suddenly get pregnant. The only other option was to do a mock ivf cycle. As in, I would take all the drugs but not have the actual procedure done. And don't cry to him if I have triplets. I told him that triplets would be a blessing to us not a hinderance and so he said ok. This may just be what we will do. But, first we have to confirm the miscarriage with the blood tests.

So again, thank you for all your kind words and thoughts, and prayers. I will continue and I will not give up. What else do we have if we don't have hope?

8 Comments:

Blogger chichimama said...

:hugs: I will keep hoping that your levels are going up. When do you get the results back?

6:45 PM  
Blogger nancy said...

What about medicated IUI? Much less $$ than IVF.

I REALLY hope your first statement is true in the fact at this very moment there is nothing wrong with you and everything is right.

I am praying for good HCG levels from your b/t.

11:49 PM  
Blogger Silver Creek Mom said...

SIGH...I know they can't do anything this early but SOB it's not fun to hear it at all they are soooo not compassionate about it.

I hope for you that there is nothing wrong and that your blood work come back with uber high numbers. I'll keep praying for you.

Hugs and kisses
Sharon

8:52 AM  
Blogger twinmomplusone said...

you're right, hang on to that hope, or else what else is there and I'm praying you get really high numbers

15, yikes already, years ago I had a similar appointment as yours where I was told nothing was wrong, totally maddening and infuriating and depressing

A while later, a girlfriend of mine dragged me to this Chinese acupuncturist/herbalist who apparently specializes in female reproductive issues, never understood a word he said, stuck some needles here and there and sent me home with this herbal tea to drink...my scientifically inclined head thought the whole thing was just a joke...till a month later my period failed to arrive :)

thinking of you

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Brenda said...

I too have hope and pray that they pg symptoms that you are still feeling are exactly that!

I also knw where the anger is coming from...frustration! We like answers to our unknowns, not "nothings"! I'm hoping that your blood levels come back higher!


Take care, Brenda

10:24 AM  
Blogger DaniGirl said...

Oh Anna... there's nothing to say but that I am holding out my best hope for you. And further to what Nancy said - a medicated IUI might be the answer because many of the procedures are covered under OHIP (ultrasounds, etc) that are not covered under IVF, so you really only have to pay for the drugs.

Here's hoping you don't have to consider any other options.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Running2Ks said...

I don't blame you at all for feeling angry. I hope you have many options open!

12:18 PM  
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6:24 PM  

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