The Bags are Packed

The car will be next and our new roof rack for all the extra stuff I can no longer jam into the trunk of a car. Yes, folks we still drive a car. We have a van but, considering it is 15 years old and costs $5 in gas just to go to the corner to get milk, we will pile into the car.

It actually looks like we will be ready to go earlier tomorrow than expected. Hubby took the whole day off, so I will have help with the last minute cleaning and stashing. Getting ready for out house sitter.

I am not sure what our connection will be like down there, if we will be able to hook into some wireless, so I may or may not post. If I can, you will definately hear from me, it will be great to post from my favorite beach. Otherwise, I will update on my return home.

You know it's a bad day when

Your three year old son says, "Mom, you're a bad Mom".

To put it in context, J was upset that I told him he had to wait until Mommy finished her shower and got dressed before he could have a bath. He had asked me for the 100th time if I was all done, when still wrapped in my towel, I replied, "J, you must practice your patience, Mommy will tell you when it is time for your bath".

That was when he told me I was a bad Mom. Not a bad Mommy, but a bad Mom. Somehow that just seemed worse. He took about 10 minutes to appologize, when I wouldn't talk to him for fear of crying. Hubby thought I was nuts and kept saying he didn't know what he was talking about. But, the truth is that although I am not a bad Mom, he did indeed mean to hurt me by telling me that. He knows what it means to be bad and he thought that I would get upset and give him what he wanted. Instead I took the other road. The one of ignoring for a few minutes until he realized his mistake. Then an appropriate amount of time later (after I had polished my toenails) he got his bath.

No matter what, it still sucks to have your three year old tell you you are a bad Mom.

All Done

J's third birthday party was much more interactive for him than his last two as well as the last two Christmas's. Thankfully my Sister's and my Parents stuck to the plan of clothing for presents. Hubby and I got a few toys and picked up some from Opa and A. MIL brought a bag of little toys and a swing for his playstructure. My girlfriend brought him a DVD read and play for the tv, which J loves to death.

All in all it was indeed a great day. The weather was hotter than we wanted but after the food and cake the younger ones and two of the eldest went for a swim and had a riot. J went from not wanting to swim to treading water on his own in his Superman suit. Now, I just have to register him for swimming lessons.

Now that the birthday is over and done with, time to pack for our vacation. I need to start my lists and the novel to our house sitter with instructions for tv's, dogs and pool. Time sure seems to be zipping by this summer.

The Big Day has Arrived!!

One of many photos to be taken today and tomorrow. Here is the happy three year old doing his big floor puzzle. Suddenly he has become in love with puzzles. In the background you will see his new Tonka firetruck and part of his Rescue Heroes aircraft carrier, which was an early birthay gift last weekend from a garage sale. Also received from Mom and Dad was a Spiderman Mega Blocks car, Veggie Tales video, colouring books and puzzle and a box of animal cards which included the giant puzzle above.

It was a great morning, reminicent of my earlier years when my Mom, Dad and Sisters would come into my room in the morning with presents. We never got out of bed on our birthday, we waited for the tell tale singing from my Dad, complete with coffee in hand. I want J to love waking up on his birthday as much as I did as a child. This year he has been so excited for his birthday we were worried it would be a bust. But, it has turned out to be a huge success.

Happy Birthday Big Boy, now I really can't believe you are 3 years old!!!!!!!

Another Birthday of Sorts

Today is the first Anniversary of my very first post! Yes folks, it has been an entire year of me blogging. I can't believe it myself.

Introduced to blogging by Dani, I couldn't believe that this world existed out there. Then after a few months of reading and finding new blogs, such as, Ann's wonderful blog, and SAJ who inspires me daily both before the arrival of Baby Bug and now with beautiful baby in tow, I felt that I must start my own. If nobody ever read it that would have been fine by me. Some of my favorites have come and gone over the past year and every time a blogger hangs up their hat, I feel a sense of sadness and loss. Then, I remember that I am peeking into someone else's world and that they have a right to hang up their hat if they want to!

As the year went on so many of my real life friends started their own blogs too, Silver Creek Mom, Twin Mom, Nancy, The Emma Report and Northern Mom. There may be a few others, but either I don't know about them or I have early morning brain and forgot to include them here (if I did, it isn't on purpose and I still love you to peices!). As our kids get older we don't seem to be able to see each other as often, so it is great to keep up with each other in a newer kind of way.

In this past year I have also found so many new online friends that have touched my heart in one way or another, and for that I am truly greatful. Just to mention a few; Jo(e), Whoorl, Inconceivable, Kate5Kiwis, Pink Diary, Andrea and Chichimama. There are more places I drop by and visit now and then and I definately have to update my list on my site.

Somedays when I feel like life just sucks, I curl up with my warm toasty laptop and visit a few friends. It always, always cheers me up. J even knows that laptop time is Mommy time, he quietly plays for a bit or watches a show, then when my time is up I am refreshed and raring to go.

This blogging thing is definately a little different and I am by no means a truly eloquent writer. Well, I am some days, others, it is just my thoughts going on a page. And of course there are days when no thoughts come to mind and well, those days kinda suck. All and all I am truly proud of myself for sticking to it. I have a long way to go. Like Dani, I want to move to my own site so I have more control but, also like Dani, watching what Andrea is going through makes me afraid. Very, very afraid. In addition I can't computer draw worth a peice of salt and I want a cool looking site. I have been working on a masthead for months now (on and off, not every day) that uses photos, but I can't get it all to stick together properly. One day hopefully it will all come together, until then, I will just keep tapping away and hope that a few of you continue to drop by and amuse me.

Happy First Anniversary to me!

A Slide Show

Two more Sleeps

J has been waiting for his birthday for a long time. We kept telling him after J2 has his birthday yours will come. J2's birthday came and went and it was disaterous. J2 kept crying saying he didn't want to get older! He is three for crying out loud. Just imagine when he turns 30.

When I told Jonathan he had two more sleeps until his birthday he was so excited. He has been telling everyone all day long, "Two more sleeps until my birthday" with such enthusiasm that I wish it was his birthday today.

I thought it was appropriate to go with the two more sleeps as it was two days before his birthday that my labour for him started. It started around 11am at the grocery store. Hubby and I were picking up last minute things for Opa who was driving from B.C and was scheduled to arrive the next day. For the first few hours I just felt crampy and uncomfortable. We had dinner at my parents house that night (it was a Saturday) and it wasn't until 7pm that I realized that the cramps I was having were coming at regular intervals.

I waited for the right moment, on the way home in the car to tell Hubby that I thought I was in labour. We called the midwife and she told me to take a gravol and a tylenol and go to bed. And to call her if the labour increased or if the contractions came closer than five minutes appart. They did not. I woke up every five minutes all night long.

And all day Sunday.... and all Sunday night, the difference being that Sunday night they were really starting to hurt. When I called my midwife Monday morning I told her that there was no way I would make it through another day. She was amazed that I had made it that long and told me to get everything ready she was on her way. By the time we were ready it was 10am, things were looking good, my midwife arrived, did a check, and I was 5cm dialated and getting ready to go. We had some lunch and by noon, I was up to 7cm, so she broke my water. Within two hours the last 3cm dialated and we were ready to push. Two hours of pushing, trying everything from a bath to laying on pillows to standing, J arrived. 4pm on the nose, on a Monday afternoon, just like the rest of his cousins. It was glorious day. I was swollen from the heat (we didn't have airconditioning) but, I was allowed a shower because I was such a good girl. We ate egg salad sandwiches and welcomed company a few hours later.

It was great. Opa had arrived Sunday afternoon, thankful that he hadn't missed any of the action. My Mom was so excited she made a mess in my kitchen instead of cleaning my house. We can only hope to do it again one day, but if it isn't possible, I do have a great memory of bringing J into this world.

Happy two days before your birthday baby boy. I can't believe you are almost three!

Best Day Yet!

I know it is only 7:25am but, truly, I feel like this is my best day so far!

Two weeks after my surgery and my left stitch keeps reopening due to the fact that it is right on the crease of where I bend and stretch. After a tearful Saturday morning, where I felt the injustice of not only my surgery but the fact that I was not healing, we headed to the pharmacy to ask if polysporin was an option to keep the wound soft but healing. The pharmasist fully agreed and was rather surprised that I was not already using it. Two full days later, and I feel like a new woman! We were using some bandages at first that were pulling the skin, but now that those are gone, I fell fantastic. Hopefully I won't overdo it today, but it will be hard as I want to go out and walk, and walk, and walk....

I go to see my Dr on Thursday, hoping for an all clear for the ocean and my beach vacation (not that I won't go, but that I won't be able to sit on the sand and float in the salt water). Do you think he will give me an all clear to go surfing?? My little sis and I were hoping to go, until I got pregnant. Maybe there is a little surfin' in my not so distant future.

Sisterly Bonds

Cooper asked in the comments on my last post if I had any helpful hints on having such a wonderful Sisterly or Sibling bond. I am not sure if I do, but I would like to tell the tale of me and my Sister's. Who knows maybe it will help?My older Sister, E, is two years older than I. She was born with brown hair and freckles (or at least the frekles showed up quickly after her arrival). She likes to refer to herself as "the Golden Child" being the first of four. That is the one thing that still bothers me, that she thinks of herself that way, but somethings you have to let go of.

I arrived two years later, blonde with no freckles (they came later after basking in the glow of the sun). E was not alone for long and we were forced to play together for a long time. We lived in a a small town called Manotick, which now is not so small, and our nearest neighbour was a gazillion miles away. When I was about three we moved to a neighbourhood with neighbours and E and I quickly met new friends and branched out a little.

We were happy us two for seven more years, until... R arrived.R was born in England, another blonde, two months late. The Doctors kept telling my Mom that her due date of early July must have been wrong. My mother knew otherwise and just kept up her spirits that R would arrive sooner rather than later. September rolled around and R finally arrived. Much to E and I's dismay that she was not a brother. My poor mother slipped a disc from carrying R for two extra months, so it was up to E and I to help out. We made a quick bond with R nurturing and caring for her and bringing her to Mom while she recovered (E was 9 and I was 7 at this time). E and I were happy that our family was complete.

We came back to Canada which was great because it meant we could resume playing with old friends and not just each other. In England, although we met new friends, we stayed close together. Nothing says outsider like two little girls with Canadian accents who wouldn't wear their undies for gym class!Seven wonderful years went by, E and I shared a room, much to our dismay and R had her own little abode. R would lie on the floor at bed time and watch through the crack at the bottom of the door. Always wanting to be with the bigger girls. We would go and check on her at bedtime and she would be asleep with her head pressed up against the door.

Then one day Mom tells us that another sibling is to arrive. The shock, the horror!! At 13 and 15 , E and I were done with extra siblings and found it a bit embarassing. When J arrived, blonde again, she made her presence known quite quickly. She was not one to be left behind. Her desire to hang out with the older siblings led her to walking at 7 months. She walked so early that her little legs were bowed for a while. But, that did not stop her. By the time she was a year she was running after us at no cost. We all thought she was a clumsy little gal, always bumping into stuff, walls in particular. It wasn't until she was being registered for kindergarten that we found out she needed glasses. Apparently her vision was so bad, that we were just shapes and sounds to her. We all felt terrible that we didn't know, but glasses changed her world dramatically.

As the years went by we always did stuff together. E and I would take R and J out to give Mom a break. Every year we took the family trip to our favorite beach squashed into whichever car was the biggest we had at the time. Looking back it is incredible that we didn't beat the tar out of each other in the car every year, but we didn't! Mom says now that if minivans had been around back then, we would have had one for sure. But, the vans that were around were tanks. I know we have one ;).

E and I definately had our ups and downs over the years. Being so close in age made us butt heads a little more with each other than with R and J. In our mid-teens we used to take swings at each other, but one day Mom started crying so we put a stop to that nonsense. I cannot recall any disagreements or fights with either R or J and I attribute that to being further apart in age. The older we get thought, the closer in age we feel.

Although J and I are fourteen years apart, we still love to do the same things and often people ask us if we are twins. I love that as it makes me feel so so much younger. J is the most like me, we went surfing together, we love to lie on a beach and we love funky music and clothes. E and R are more similar in that they are a bit more conservative, could take the beach or leave it and are less likely to take a few risks.

I can't say what keeps us hanging out together. I see R at least four days out of seven in a week. And if J lived here longer, I would see her more too. E living in Regina makes it a bit harder, but when she did live here we could walk to her place in five minutes. It was great. Perhaps the fact that I talk to my Mom and/or Dad at least four days out of seven and if a week goes by that we don't talk, it is very strange. Poor Mom, I talk to her just as much on vacation as I do at home. They can never truly get away from us kids, so I guess we all stick together. And quite frankly, I love it. Some people think we are nuts to hang out so much. I personally think it is great, that my own best friends are my Sister's.

** I tried to post some photos, but am having trouble, hopefully later.

A Happy Sad Day

I think I neglected to mention that my Sister who lives in Regina decided to make a surprise summer visit. In the end I was not surprised as I hate surprises and because I had surgery she didn't want me to bust open my stitches. She arrived last Thursday afternoon with her three kiddies in tow. My brave, brave Sister flew solo halfway accross our beloved country with a preschooler, a toddler and a four month old baby, just to see her Sisters.

I am thrilled and happy today because I have a week worth of awesome memories and photos to erase the bad memories of my surgery and near death experience. I am also so sad because as I type they are already in Winnipeg on their three hour layover.

Due to my lack of mobility I was able to host my family almost everyday. Nothing makes me happier than to watch three cousins who love each other so much play on our play structure, in the sandbox, in the pool, outside in general. Then, every single toy in our house was played with. J even broke out his baby toys for Babies A & N. Makes all those days when not a toy is touched worth it.

My nephew L has been terrified of our dogs since he was a wee one, but this week he broke through! He fell in love with Mickey and his blue eye, he cuddled with Cosmo in the halway. It was great. Even my Sister with her million allergies was able to cope with a single pill. My surgery made them all have to deal with the stuff that used to seem too hard to deal with and now, my house is on the top of the list of fun places to be!!!

We also had an impromtu birthday party for J & J2 so that their cousins could participate. The birthdays are this coming week but we wanted the cousins to be here for the fun. They played games had cake and had fun loot bags.

I'd like to say this was the best week so far this summer, but with my surgery, it could have been better. My Sister was happy though because it meant she got to rest while her kids played instead of visiting a million people. Today will be a lonely for J but, he has a week load of memories to pull him through until Christmas.

Feeling much much better

Today has been the best day so far. I still have an awful pain in my left stitch. I think it is because it is on the crease of where I bend, stretch, sit, everything. So when I rest it dries up and then I move and it hurts like heck. But, other than the bloating that I sure hope goes away soon, I was able to walk at a good pace today and play with all my nephews and neice outside. Other than missing out on the swimming, I was able to have fun.

I must say that laughing is a little hard too. So, if I talk to you and you think I am not my usual humourous self, that is not it, I am just trying hard not to laugh as laughter causes my gut to feel like a knive is slicing it open. No jokes please!

Hoping to be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon.

Where to Begin?

First and foremost, I have to say that I am doing great. Now, where do I begin?

Tuesday morning, I suppose. All was going well Tuesday morning until about 8:45am when I started to get a sharp pain in my gut. I headed over to the bathroom, but made it as far as the living room floor. Thankfully, J is a good listener in a time of crisis as he went and got me the phone so I could call my Mom. Mom to the rescue. I put in a few calls to my Dr. and headed up to bed. I wasn't overly concerned as I had similar sharp pains when I was pregnant with J but, I did want an ultrasound just to be sure.

Mom dropped J at my sister's and cleaned my house, gotta love when you are sick and Mom fiddles around. My ultrasound wasn't until 3:30pm so Hubby headed home from work so he could relieve Mom. In the meantime I did a bit of reading and realized that a lot of my symptoms were really looking like it was ectopic, but I was hoping for a gastro problem as I was getting so gassy.

The ride to the ultrasound was probobly the worst ever in my life. Hubby was hitting all the bumps and I was getting pretty nauseous, not to mention it was 35+ degrees out there and I had been freezing in a/c all day. We get there and I find out that I can't really walk far without possibly passing out. There were no wheelchairs I had to take frequent breaks. I was given a bed immediately. As long as I was horizontal all was good. Vertical was not doing it for me.

To make a long story short, the could not find a pregnancy in my uterous, but they weren't sure what was going on in my tubes either. My right blocked tube was so massive, they couldn't make head or tails of it and my left tube was hiding out. It was determined that there was now blood flowing into my abdomen, about 200-300ml at this point. The Dr on duty was fantastic and she was trying not to sound nervous but, really I need to go to the ER pronto. I asked if she could call ahead so I wouldn't have to wait and she said she already had. She was also able to contact my Dr. at the Clinic, so the oncall Dr. was able to be there for me.

The ride to the Hospital was much worse than the ride to the ultrasound. Even I could tell that things were getting worse. The pain was no longer just in my gut but under my ribs and now in the shoulder. My breathing was getting laboured and I was trying not to get nervous but, I knew it wasn't good. The wheelchair ride into the ER was pretty rough and the reception at the desk was less than stellar. Needless to say the reception lady was mad at me because I had to lie on the floor. "Tough sh*t" was all I could think of. The orderly finally arrived with the gurney and wanted me to do this slow sit up thing and I said, one shot buddy up on the bed, no sitting. He wasn't impressed with me but, I knew what I needed.

I was wisked away pretty quick to the first set of rooms to get assessed. I was only there a few minutes when I was wisked away to the pre OP rooms. Apparantly I was considered to be in pretty grave danger and we were just waiting for the OR room to be prepped. Hubby and I were joking around waiting for the Doctor from the clinic saying if it had to be ectopic let it be in the good tube so our IVF would be covered by insurance. Hubby was starting to get upset, but I could not cry for the pain so he had to tough it up for me. The nurses kept wanting to pump me full of pain meds, but I refused. I stayed tough and wanted my wits with me. The Dr. finally showed up and although on previous occaisions he was not one of my favorites, both Hubby and I were quite impressed with him. He wasn't convinced it was ectopic, he was thinking ruptured cyst. He was going to check out my damaged tube while in there and do his best to make sure that we could have more kids in the very near future. I should add that the Gyny resident was trying to scare the crap out of me by giving me worst case scenerios. They were going to open up my gut, I was most likely going to have damage to my internal organs... blah, blah... she wasn't the brightests and watching Dr. C tell her to settle down was quite comforting.

Off we went. I was crackin a few jokes about a tummy tuck and Dr. C was shaking my bed to see if it hurt. Funny, funny guy.

Two hours later, Hubby was beside himself. They told him it would be an hour, but they didn't tell him it would take a half hour to get into the room and a half hour to get out. I was able to have laproscopic surgery so I have three little incisions. One in my belly button and two lower down, bikini line. The pregnancy was ectopic for sure, in my left tube. Which was apparently damaged before from possibly one of my miscarriages being ectopic. My right tube was so massive it was the size of a child's fist full of hydrasalpinx which would have been poisoning any other pregnancies that would have made it to the uterus. I lost about 2litres of blood in the end and had to stay overnight in case I needed a transfusion. All was good by morning and I was heading home at 8:30am!

That was the fastest, scariest 24 hours I have had in a very long time. I am so thankful that I am ok, that I am here to see J and that nothing else happened that left me permanently unable to care for my family. There is definately a bright side to all of it. I know I left out a few details here and there, but hopefully you all get the gist it ;).