Football

Ok, so I was trying to be really creative and research the two teams. I have done lots of reading, but am not entire sure how to weigh the information. They are both very good strong teams. I know that Seattle is favored to win, but really when the Steelers won over Indianapolis, it was like there was nothing stopping them. And Indianapolis had only lost one game all year, they were also favored to win.
I really think when it comes to the Superbowl that both teams pull out all the stops. Hubby was also making reference to the fact that a lot of the time one team seems to dominate the game and it is usully a blow out. I think that happens when one team gets a few goals up front, then the other seems to fall apart. Of course, we will have to watch to see what happens this year.
Did you know that while in Detroit, all the team members have police escorts where ever they go? I was shocked. But, I guess there may be a few crazed fans out there that might want to hurt someone. Apparently there are police escorts in every city that hosts Superbowl, but Detroit has pumped it up a bit to include the media too!
I did find this Superbowl Blog that is written by several guys in the media (that is where I heard about the escorts), it is an interesting to read.

So who should I cheer for? Will wait and see who I like the most on Sunday :)

Superbowl?

Don't know how many of you out there are into Football. But, I love it. The fact is though, that I hardly follow it anymore, and I just don't know why we don't watch it as much as we used to. I think it started when the Ottawa Roughriders closed up shop and left us hanging for a few years. Even now with the Renegades bringing football back, I have only been to two games. The ticket prices just aren't as cheap as they used to be. So a few weeks ago, Hubby and I realized that we have been missing out and decided to watch the semi-finals. We had so much fun. Even "J" loved having "ootball" on tv!!

So, I figured to get into the spirit of the Superbowl, I should investigate the two teams playing. Seattle Seahawks and Pittsburg Steelers. I have reasons to like both, but they are both silly and don't have anything to do with the game. I like Pittsburg, because my cousin played very briefly with them about 15 years ago and it is close to Delaware. I like Seattle because Hasselbeck plays for them.

Grab a bowl of popcorn and a beer and let's see who we should be cheering on!

Boom, Boom, Boom

That is the sound of my head. Have you ever had a throbbing in your head that just keeps on going. Like the Energizer Bunny, it just keeps going and going and going...

It started almost from the get go yesterday morning. By late afternoon, it was making me sick to my stomach. I took the Advil, I took the Tylenol, I tried a bit of caffeine, I even had a really hot bath. Nothing, nada, zip. It's still here. The bath offered a reprieve for about an hour, but I was in bed at 7:30pm last night! That is crazy. I thought for sure it would be gone this morning, but no, it is still here. Not as bad as yesterday yet, but it is still lingering. Threatening to come out and start pounding at the slightest wrong move.

Thankfully, "J" seems to understand that when my forehead is all wrinkly it means I don't feel so great. Noise and singing was kept to a minimum yesterday, but Hubby was also home. Hopefully he will be ok with a quiet day again today, if not, I am in real trouble. I am also now officially behind in my work. I was staying just ahead of it until yesterday, so hopefully today I will recuperate and be just like the pink bunny and get back into the going, going, going.......

A Friday Poem

Nature's First Green is Gold,
Her Hardest Hue to Hold.
Her Early Leaf's a Flower,
But Only So an Hour.
Then Leaf Subsides to Leaf,
So Eden Sank to Grief.
So Dawn Goes Down Today,
Nothing Gold Can Stay.

Robert Frost.


My favorite poem of all time. When we studied it in one of my University English classes, I remember not wanting to listen because the Professor was giving it such a different meaning than it had for me.

I first heard Robert Frost's "Nothing Gold Can Stay" in the movie the "Outsiders". Which I read a lot and just finished helping "A" and our kid next door complete their English papers on it. It would appear that even 22 years after having read the book, I still remember more about it than they do! It reminds me of nature and how beautiful it can be, but it also reminds me of youth. And how as young teens, we take a lot for granted. Reminds me of simpler times and having fun. I think of the dawn in Summer time when the sun is shining and sparkling on the dew on the leaves. I know this poem is supposed to represent Autumn, but for me it is Summer.

I thought of it today because jo(e) over at jo(e)'s page, a new blog I have recently found via nancy, has recently started "poetry Friday". And since I haven't written a peom since High School, I thought I would post my favorite poem, since she got me thinking about it.

How Fitting.

I don't do these very often, but thought it would be fun to see if I matched my love of the beach. It worked out well :)

You Are Sunshine

Soothing and calm You are often held up by others as the ideal But too much of you, and they'll get burned You are best known for: your warmth Your dominant state: connecting

What Type of Weather Are You?

Three most beautiful words

"I Love You".

I think that one of the things I have been waiting for as a Mom was to hear my child say "I Love You", without being pushed or prodded or coaxed along. This week it has started. Out of the blue, I hear him say, "I love you Mommy". Makes my eyes well up with tears and my heart very happy.

"J" is a very sensitive boy, I am sure he gets a lot of it from his mother, but he is always looking out for others to make sure they are ok. Rubbing his cousins back asking "are you ok?" or making sure he has snacks and treats for both of them when we go out somewhere together. The way he hugs me and holds my neck so tight, I knew in my heart that he loved me. To hear him say it out loud just makes it all worth while.

In addition to the "I Love You's" being passed around, the newest trick around here is to talk on the phone. We have been trying to get him to talk to his Opa in Vancouver on the phone for a while now. Normally he would listen and smile, but all of a sudden last week he realized that he could talk too! He walks around the room pointing out all his toys and telling his Opa what he played with that day. It is really great. The only drawback is that he now picks up the other extension and talks to whomever I am talking to on the phone. Not so bad when it is family, but have to keep an eye on him when it is not! One of the best phone calls yet was when "J" picked up the phone to sing "Happy Birthday" to his cousin "LJ", the two of them chatted and talked and I was indeed shedding a few tears. We are now entering a whole new era with "J" and I have to say that I really like it a lot.

"Good Job Mommy"

Those three words, "Good Job Mommy" was what I heard when I voted today. My little "J" was so proud of Mommy, even though he did not know what on earth I was doing. The people manning the voting booths thought it was pretty funny. It was cute indeed, but truthfully, I vote because I have to.

If I don't vote, then who am I to say about what goes on in our Country?
If I don't vote, then what on earth did all those women (Nelly McClung) do for us so many years ago?
If I don't vote, then what will happen to Canada in the future, the future for "J" and "A"?

I vote because I have to. Even though the choices this go round were still not the best, no matter which party you are going with, you still have to choose one of them. These men and women chose to become politicians as a career, we have to decide which ones will work the hardest for us, to make Canada the best Canada it can be.

Have we made mistakes over the years? Sure we have.
Have we learned from our mistakes? Probobly not as much as we should have.
Will we make more mistakes as time goes on? Most likely.

In the end, whichever candidate is elected tonight should know one thing. I cast my vote today, so I will be watching, waiting, listening. Hoping to see Canada continue to shine as the great country I know it to be. And yes, I may complain once in a while, but alas that is my right, for today, I cast my vote.

Did you?

Winter is Back

When I was a kid, we lived in house on a cul-de-sac. On an acre of land, where your neighbours were close, but far enough away. In the spring they would tar the street and in the winter the ditches became our forts. That street now has real ashfalt and there are no more ditches. The willow trees that we crawled under have been cut down and the house that we loved is starting to look run down and not well kept (it hasn't been painted on the outside since my Dad last did it in 1978!).

Now my kids will remember that we made them go out and play in the snow. Yes, made them. "A" was not too sure if it would be fun and since he is too cool to own snow pants and proper boots we had to outfit him. Thankfully for him, I went through a stage of owning guys things so he had mens slush pants, men's Doc Martins and men's ski gloves to make him look pretty cool. And I must say in the end he did! "J" of course wanted to only do what his brother was doing, so until "A" started getting ready "J" did not want to go outside. I promised them it would be fun once we were out there. And sure enough, I was right.

Sadly, we only have one adult shovel. Something we are going to correct today. So, "A", Hubby and I traded off shovelling the heavy, dense snow off of the driveway. "J of course used his shovel, but was putting more back onto the driveway than he was takikng off.

After a good area was scraped clean "A" & "J" started to play some hockey. I love it! It reminds me of when I was younger playing outdoor games with my Dad while he was shovelling. The only difference being that he was always still shovelling. Hubby switched gears while I had a turn at piling the snow, he decided the kids needed a snow fort!

So he created a fort worthy of a two year old, with caverns and seats. Of course the dogs wanted in on it and tried to help and when the kid next door came out to play with "A" the two of them used the fort as cover. But, that was ok, it was the best two hours of yesterday! When everyone got to be a kid for a couple of hours and play in the snow.

I hope my kids will look back on days like today and remember them fondly. Yesterday was definately a good reason to love winter. And days like that make winter not seem so bad after all. If only every winter day was as perfect as that.

Keep your boilers burning..

.. right around the yard.

If I listen to one more Thomas song today, I may go crazy!!!

We haven't had Thomas day in a long time, but come on, "Songs from the Station" has to wear out sometime. Please tell me it will.

We even had a fun day colouring on the windows in the kitchen with our new "Crayola Window Writers". They are wonderful new washable markers to use on the window. They are a bit streaky to wash off, but it was still fun. Although "J" did get upset when he got marker on his pants, I told him it would wash off. He was ok with that but, he won't wear them anymore.

Now, how to get him to have a nap before I go crazy with these songs.

Can we have an athlete who is also an artist?

It is LJ's birthday on Friday and we decided to add a crown in the package of presents for him to wear around. I did the hard part, cutting, gluing and writing words. "J" did the rest and had loads of fun doing it!

I know your birthday isn't until tomorrow LJ, but we want to spread lots of wishes your way. Happy Birthday big guy!!!

The Fours Meme

Tagged! I was tagged for this Meme by Nancy yesterday. Sorry I am a day late, but here it goes.

Four jobs I've had
1. Pinkerton's Security - Guarding concert goers
2. Cineplex Odeon - Manager
3. Angelo's Pizza - Rideau and Cobourg - was the best pizza in town for a long time
4. Nortel - Project Manager

Four movies I could watch over and over
1. The Wedding Planner
2. Bridget Jones
3. Working Girl
4. Untamed Heart

Four places I've lived
1. Ottawa, ON
2. Sutton Surrey, England
3. Winnipeg, MB
4. Wakefield, QC - I am stretching here as I only lived there as a baby, but was looking for a fourth.

Four TV shows I love
1. Friends
2. Design Inc./Room Service - Both Sarah Richardson, love them both
3. Martha Stewart Living - the old show was my fav. I can live with "Martha" but, it isn't the same.
4. 24

Four places I've been on vacation
1. Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
2. Bermuda - sadly during their two weeks of winter, but it was still gorgeous!
3. Cancun, Mexico
4. Paris, France -not Ontarion ;)

Four blogs I visit daily
I visit way more than four, I can't even imagine picking four!

Four favourite foods
1. Food - oh you want me to be specific
2. Red Wine
3. Seafood
4. Nicaboli - from Nicola's Pizza, Rehoboth Beach Delaware

Four places I'd rather be
1. On a beach - or at least living in a big old beachhouse within walking distance of the ocean.
2. On Vacation with the family
3. Spain - heard it is beautiful
4. Greece - same with Spain

Four CDs I listened to most recently
1. Jack Johnson - In between dreams
2. U2 - Actung Baby
3. Mozart - "J" loves him
4. Counting Crows - August and Everything After

Last four vehicles I've owned
1. 1979 Malibu Station Wagon - that car ROCKED
2. 1986 Chevette - turned it in when it was over 200,000 km's
2 1/2. 1990 Kawasaki EX500 - Loved that motorcycle, traded it for the convertible, to please Dad.
3. 1992 Geo Metro Convertible
4. 1998 Nissan Altima

Phew, that was fun. My first Meme. Thanks Nancy!

Onward to some fun

at least for me. I love fabric.... LOVE fabric. I sew and I sew and I sew some more. Now that I am sewing for me, I love it again. Fabricland had a members only 50% off sale yesterday, if I could have carried more giant bolts to the table, I would have. Instead I stayed reserved, with my little list. Slings and baby things. With my sisters about to have their babies, I need gifts. And they are both having girls so why not make them a little package that they will hopefully love, filled with girly related baby things.

Here are the fabrics I chose yesterday:
Pink: for Diaper and wipe Cases, catchalls, bottle carriers and hopefully Change pads.
Cream: for the slings: Neither of my sisters got to use a sling with their other kids, and I loved mine so much, I figured I will make them each one, if they don't like it, it's ok cause it was a gift :).

Blue: I picked up a little bit of stripes in some boyish colours, just in case the u/s technician was wrong ;)

Nothing like a little bit of fabric to make me sew happy!

Thank you

My sincerest Thank You's go out to all of you who supported me this past week. It has been tough, but I am ready to carry on. The biggest realization came to me yesterday. No matter how sad it is to have a miscarriage, it is even sadder (for me) to not get pregnant at all. I would get terribly sad and depressed at least once a month for a good day or two, when I would have to face the fact that we could not get pregnant. At that point our chances were 1%, but I still held out for that miracle that we sometimes hear about. And, now I feel that there is so much more hope. Our chances of conceiving are almost above average right now, considering we have been pregnant 3 times in 9 months. Hubby too agrees that we should continue at this point, try a few experiments and see what the outcome is.

Thank you again for all the support and will let you know what it is like to be a human guinea pig :)

To fear or not to fear?

My Husband works in the healthcare industry. No, he is not a Doctor, but somedays he pretends he is.

Yesterday, he came home early to spend time with me, for which I was grateful. Until, he decided to give me a lecture on the upcoming, not the potential, but upcoming Pan_demic. Now, I am not a fearmonger nor am I naive. I do know what is going on out there, but I am trying to live my life not in fear of a possible outbreak. I did tell him that yesterday was not the day to discuss, but he felt the need to drive it into my head that loved ones will surely die, that we will have no food or water and he will be at work for the entire time it is going on.

So, basically I will be alone to care for myself and our little guy. I will most likely catch it because I shop in malls, we will run out of food and water because I do not have a three month supply in the basement. We will have no water or means to cook... hmmm.. let me think of what else... oh yes, I did mention that one of my loved ones will die. Yep. That was my grieving day yesterday.

So here I sit this morning, planning out how to get a few extra supplies in the house so Hubby doesn't do that to me again. And, have a plan of attach on how we are going to cook and clean with no running water and method to cook. Therefore, the next time he tries to scare the crap out of me, I will be as prepared as possible to say, I am as prepared as I can possibly be.

The results are in and I am indeed miscarrying. This was the shortest pregnancy yet, so hopefully it will be the shortest recovery time. Back to the drawing board as the saying goes. First things first, gotta drop the eight pounds I just gained. Then, we will set things up to try the medicated experiment and see if that will indeed make a difference in the future. As I said in my last post, there is always hope and since I am not getting any younger, we will keep on trying for the time being.

Nothing

That would seem to be the theme of today. As in...
... there is nothing wrong with you
... there is nothing we can do for you
... there is nothing I can recommend
... there is nothing I can tell you

Nothing is pretty much what I got from my Dr. today. Sorry, he did recommend some cognative therapy(which I won't try) or accupunture (which I may try), but other than that he asked me what I thought was wrong. So I guess I could say I am a little angry. I did do another blood test today to see if my levels are dropping or not, as there is still a possibility that I am not miscarrying, but given how I feel and the events of past miscarriages, I would say I am pretty much on the mark.

Angry. Yep, I am angry. There is no other word to discribe what I am feeling. My Dr. did suggest going through another round of ivf as that seemed to work for us. When I asked if it was on the house, he laughed. I told him that our first round was our only round unless we had a big cash winfall. And the hope of more children just intensified when we could suddenly get pregnant. The only other option was to do a mock ivf cycle. As in, I would take all the drugs but not have the actual procedure done. And don't cry to him if I have triplets. I told him that triplets would be a blessing to us not a hinderance and so he said ok. This may just be what we will do. But, first we have to confirm the miscarriage with the blood tests.

So again, thank you for all your kind words and thoughts, and prayers. I will continue and I will not give up. What else do we have if we don't have hope?

Not really sure what to say or do. I think that this pregnancy is on the way out, but am trying to remain a tad bit hopeful for my Dr.'s appointment this afternoon. I am experiencing most of the same symptoms I have everytime the pregnancies stop, but at the same time I am keeping most of my pregnancy symptoms, which doesn't usually happen.

In addition, each of my last three appointments at this particular Doctor have occured with terrible weather. Today is not an exception. Unless the rain out there continues to rain and not freeze, but this is a bit ridiculous. At the same time, no amount of bad weather will keep me from going to the appointment.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers, will let you know what I know later.

Looks like another snow day

As I was up with the birds, or in the winter... the snow plows, it would seem today might be another snow day. Not so much that we will be staying in, but that there will be shovelling, jumping cars and hopefully playing in the snow. As I sent the dogs out for their morning break, they came in looking like giant snow dogs. It is the kind of sticky, clumpy snow that sticks to their backs and makes a good layer for them to carry into the house. They do love it though, just lying there in the snow.

Here is an update, all seems to be going well so far. I am awaiting test results from the doctor to see if anything is needed. I analyse every tweak and pinch and I am more nervous than excited at this point. I have gained the instant 8 pounds that I seem to gain as soon as my body knows it is pregnant and I am missing my patience, which also seems to happen instantly, but doesn't last long. Other than that all is well, "J" has agreed to walk more instead of being carried, which is a good thing all around. And I have to remind myself not to do anything too strenuous just to be safe. Will see what my doctor has to say later this week.

Sleep Men vs Women

How is it that I can wake up at 5am almost everyday, not have a nap, and make it through till bedtime without being absolutely miserable for the day?

Hubby gets up on the weekends so I can get an extra hour and a half of sleep than I usually do every Monday to Friday. This helps me recharge my batteries and get through the week. Monday to Friday he wakes up between 7:15am and 7:45am depending on how he feels. On the weekends when I do get up, he goes back to bed. Yep, goes back to bed for a nap, which usually lasts an hour or two. Which means that the rest of our day doesn't get started until he has had his nap and shower and second breakfast and, and, and....

Despite his nap, he is still grumpy. Yep, grumpy as can be, miserable at times. He keeps telling me he doesn't like to get up so early. So, I tell him, fine, I will get up then and not sleep in. He will have none of that, because I need the sleep. I am not so sure anymore that I do need the sleep, the payoff isn't worth it.

He is now in the basement playing hockey with "J", while "A" still sleeps. Hopefully on his return, he will be a much happier Hubby or I will send him back to bed.

New Couch

Actually it is about eight years old, but my Mother couldn't take the worn out fabric anymore so she asked me to make a slipcover. I have made the cushions many times, but never the whole thing. So I set out on a journey. Terribly afraid that it would cost me more to make than my Mom to buy a new one. As I made the first cut in the fabric I started to sweat, by the time I sewed the last stitch, I wasn't as concerned anymore. And guess what? It fit perfectly! It is a little disheveled from two toddlers jumping on it, but I had to take a photo anyway. will do another more professional one when there is no sunlight streaming in through the back.

So here is the first of many projects I will highlight for you. I already have two more slipcovers on order and am working on a batch of roman blinds. We are off to a busy New Year!!

Had Enough

Poor puppies, they have had enough for sure. All the visiting, all the children chasing them, thinking they are horses. And to top is all the neighbour at the back got their kids a puppy for Christmas! I thought people didn't do that anymore, knowing their kids may not take care of them properly once Christmas was over. At first we thought he was just chasing a rabbit, now we know it is a tiny little retriever. Which will grow to be very big and just better not bark ;). We now have a dog to our left, a dog kitty corner, a dog behind and a dog in front! They went from being the only pups on the street to two of many. Thankfully (when they don't go for a run) they are well mannered and don't really bark too much.

So here's my story

I have eluded to "my story" a few times, but have never said it out loud, or in this case written it in words. I think my time has come to talk about it. First, though I must say that Hubby isn't a public person to talk about this, only to people we know well know the story.

It all started oh about five years ago. When we got married, Hubby wanted to wait two years before having kids. I was ok with this as he already had "A" and it was not by choice, so I wanted to be sure that he wanted kids again. I will admit that I had already had the yearning or desire for kids for about three years. We would go to our favorite beach and I would watch all the kids and I would have this empty feeling like I was missing out on something. So five years ago our two year waiting time was up and I reminded him of our deal. So it was then that we started to try for kids.

Six or seven months later at a routine Dr's appointment I told him that we were trying and having no success. I had read most of the books, I had stopped smoking, drinking, partying, etc. Doing everything possible to get pregnant. We were even going with the every second day theory, but still nothing. So he offered some routine tests as a place to start from. I found that I had one blocked fallopian tube that could be unblocked if I wanted but it wasn't something that was stopping a pregnancy, just making it more difficult to achieve. Hubby, however, found that his little swimmers we not quite up to par.

So off we went to visit a specialist at the Fertility Centre. I should mention that it took another six or seven months to get in there to see the specialist, but we were lucky as the wait was actually a year. We ran a battery of tests to confirm everything and sure enough, Hubby's swimmers were many and speedy, but not quite in the best shape (morphology) of their lives which meant that the final part of conception was missing. It was recommended that we go for invitro with icsi, which is a specialized procedure for just this type of situation. We could have tried other methods, but we only had one kick at the can so we decided to go for broke and sign up for the big one. I even put us on a cancellation list so we could try to get in earlier.

On Thanksgiving weekend 2002, we got the call. We were officially going through with ivf. There were a few scares, but for the most part we had a healthy and uneventful pregnancy and "J" arrived in August, at home, a healthy 8lb 5oz baby. I would cry when I would hold him, not really believing that he was here and that I was his Mom.

Fast forward a year. We decided we wanted to have more kids. We still had six "frosties" or frozen embryos, so we decided to sign up for a transfer. But, again with the clinic, we had to wait. September turned into February and we had our transfer two weeks before our move into our new home (which we hoped to fill). Unfortunately it was not to be, our beta came back negative and I was devistated.

May rolls around and my father in law is here for a visit. We have a great time, spring is here, not too hot, but I am feeling fat and can't lose weight. The day he leaves to go home, I am starting to have some bleeding, which is weird, because I had just finished a cycle. A few days go by and for whatever reason, I take a pregnancy test. It was positive! But, I was miscarrying. I would have been about 10 weeks along and had gotten pregnant the cycle after our failed frozen transfer. I was sad and devistated and figured it was hours spent in my neighbours hot tub that did it. But, who is to know really, so I tried not to dwell on it. The summer goes by, I try to forget, but it is hard.

Along rolls September, and lo and behold I am pregnant again! So apparently we are not so infertile anymore. Six weeks later to the day, I lose the second pregnancy of the year, my third loss. This time I call on our fertiliy specialist. He takes lots of tests and tells me to come back and see him in January. So here we are a week away from my appointment and I am wondering if there is anything that we can do to hold onto a pregnancy. Am I destined to be a new Mom again? Will "J" have anymore siblings to play with? So many questions...

...and as I do every month since that first miscarriage, I took a test and you know what... there were two lines again. So here we go again. Will there be anything to do to hold onto this one or will we go through our first loss of '06.

Stay tuned as we will not be telling anyone about this pregnancy as the pain is too much. The best support I have is right here and I hope that you guys won't mind holding my hand, just a little bit.

Getting back to routine

Tomorrow will be rough. After the last two weeks of having Hubby home, at least for the most part, it will be a difficult day tomorrow. "J" has had so much fun playing with Daddy and letting Mommy rest that I may not make it through the day myself ;). Thankfully I have made plans for a playdate so that should fill the morning and perhaps "J" will get back to a regular nap for the afternoon.

Today we had playdate with the cousins, which went pretty well, except that all the boys were whinning. It was a little odd considering that they should be happy to play with each other, but they were all just a tad out of sorts. I will contribute it to too much chocolate and not enough regular food and hope that their next playtime on Wednesday will go much more smoothly.

Tomorrow also means a return to my schedule too. I have been working on a few projects and may post some photos of them as soon as they are complete. Time to get things finished up around here and start the New Year off fresh and new. Woo Hoo! I just had a burst of excitement thinking that the whole year is fresh and new :).

I feel like I should be sending out another round of "cheers" for the New Year. "Cheers"!

Happy 2006!!!

The end of 2005 was joyous and fun. We spent the evening with friends and their kids, neighbours, parents. We had lots of fun, great food and good conversation. It has been five years since we did anything but hang out at home on New Years. I for one was thankful for the company and the fun way to leave 2005. It wasn't really like a party, so you kinda forgot it was New Years. We even left before midnight, to avoid the crazies on the road and frankly we were exhausted :)

I welcome 2006 with open arms and ask only one thing. Could you be a bit better to me than last year?

Happy New Years everyone, may you enjoy and be blessed in 2006!