Fifteen

That is how many degrees it is above zero! And it is November 30th for crying out loud. I would not be complaining except that it is pouring rain, and we Northerner's know what happens when it is hot and raining in November or December, a quick freeze will follow and going anywhere tomorrow will be absolutely aweful. It is also supposed to snow tomorrow, go figure.

Now that I am finished my novel I feel the sudden rush of a million things I have to do in the next 24 days. I thought I would start by making a list. Lists always make me feel better.

• sort out what presents are left to be bought.
• wrap presents that are hidden in A's closet, before Hubby and J find them...
• write Christmas cards and send, to be done in next five days, thank goodness I ordered them weeks ago.
• start baking!! Yay! One of my favourite parts of Christmas, the baking. I love to bake, but it makes me fat so I only do it for special occaisions and Christmas is a special occaision.
• pick up tree at Ikea. Every year we get our Ikea tree, it costs $15 an you get a $15 coupon to use in the new year, so it is like a free tree. We always get it now because they are ready, but we don't put it up until next weekend or the weekend after.
• Decorate tree and rest of house. The few new things are already placed around the house, feather tree for my room, Nutcrackers for J in the dinning room, startlights to hang in A's room for fun...
• wrap more presents.
• Take J to see Santa.
• send presents out to Vancouver.
• Pick up groceries for special occaisions. I love to keep lots of easy quick fix's on hand around the holidays, that way I can throw together an antipasto platter or cheese and crackers in no time flat, love it.
• Liquor store run... not that I will be drinking, but I like to have a little on hand just in case.

Ok, I think that is my list, I should probobly prioritize them. But, it is a good start. Here we go, off to the races! Day one of the Playmobil Advent starts tomorrow!

I DID IT!

I finished my novel! And Won Nanowrimo! Now, I had to hurry the ending oh so much, but it can be stretched out when I edit it in the new year! Hooray!!! Cross another thing off my list of things to do before 40!!!

2720

That is how many words I have left to write. And I have so much more to say!!!!!!

I should be finished tomorrow night a full day ahead of schedule. Cool.

Home sweet home

Hubby returned.. YAY! J is still under the weather though, his cough continued so it was not the crackers. And his fever returned the last two days aroung this time of day (4pm) so I am watching him carefully right now to nip it with medicine before it gets too high. He is doing much better today though, he is more himself with a cold than the whiney, crying, defiant little boy he was with the fever. And he has been chasing the dogs again which means he must be feeling great.

I am down to 4500 words left to go on the novel!!! The deadline is midnight on the 30th. Am I happy with my novel, you bet. And I know for sure I am going to edit and rewrite. I already see a few places where I can completely revamp and pull more things together. I just keep telling myself not to edit right now, and it doesn't matter how it turns out, just that it is finished.

Countdown to Christmas is coming... for kiddy inspiration I will be watching Nancy everyday. Last year was lots of fun and very inspirational, I hope to post a few things that we will be doing to get ready for the holidays too. All inspired by Nancy of course.

Home Tomorrow

Thankfully, Hubby will be home tomorrow. J's fever has gone and he has been doing great but, all of a sudden around 4pm he started coughing and his nose started running. What's with that? At first I thought it was because he got a cracker caught in his throat, but he was still coughing when he went to bed. Hopefully he will wake up fully recovered and ready to pick up his Dad tomorrow afternoon.

We did get a chance to have some fun outside today at Grandma and Grandpa's house. But, first I must mark the calendar. Now, I love my Dad lots, I mean TONS. But, he was never big on playing with us kids. And I do not blame him one bit. He taught me how to change the oil on a car as well as a tire before I was ten. I could paint a wall better than any other thirteen year old and I had work ethic to no end from spending hours with my Dad. He even taught me to drive at twelve, just in case I needed to. But, today, yes today when my head was splitting open from the fertility drugs and J hadn't stopped talking since 5:30am, my Dad bless his heart took J to downstairs to play cars for almost an hour. My Mom was dumbfounded, we could hear them talking nonstop together so we knew all was well, but we didn't dare go down for fear the fun would end. Then, just for fun Dad took him out to 'work' in the garage. Which means moving one thing to another shelf just because. They had a blast. And Mom and I were able to wrap the trees and string her first set of holiday lights ever, J running back and forth between the garage and the backyard. (photo of the two silly guys is from Canada Day, they are showing you their favourite orange jelly beans)

Yes, I was thankful today. Thankful for my Mom and Dad who entertained us and kept us busy while Hubby was away. I was thankful that my Dad had the energy to play with my son, now that he has lost 15lbs (if only we could all lose 15lbs in just one week). I was thankful that I had my Mom to drink tea and hang out with. I may not have made a turkey this year but for me this was still a Thanksgiving weekend to remember.

It's J's Turn

To be sick while Hubby is away! Yes indeed. We headed to the museum this morning, had fun, went for lunch at Grandma's, had J2 for a visit after then, all of a sudden he was warm. No, not warm, very hot.

Go figure, eh? The Tempra is not working yet. I gave it to him an hour and a half ago, so will see if it kicks in soon.

I feel really badly because he wants to go out and play in the sunshine, we have been waiting 60 days for sunshine and he has to lie on the couch and watch movies.

I hope the temperature comes down soon....

Five Days

Hubby left yesterday for Portugal. It seems a little silly to me to fly somebody for ten hours to attend an eight hour meeting, then fly them home another ten hours. But, alas that is what they wanted to do. At least Hubby got them to add one day for him to tour around Portugal, well Lisbon really. Because how much can you see in only one day? Lots actually when I think of all the things we did in one day in San Diego and in the past we did a one day tour of Bermuda that took us from tip to tip.

Can I admit that I am totally jealous. Ok, there I did it. It would have been silly to go with him for such a short time but, his boss did tell him to go for a week if he wanted and to take me along. Unfortuately we would have had to pay for all those extra days in the hotel and my airfare. Since we just did California and I am cycling for ivf, it just wasn't the right time. There better be another time to go again.

The book is coming along nicely, I am over 35,000 words which is really a great breaking point. Now I have to figure out how to get all I want to say into the last 15,000 words and do it creatively. I was getting mad at myself that the story might have a few dead spots, then I remembered that I am not supposed to be editing it yet. And that it is really a rough draft of a first draft of a novel. Hopefully, I will find the time to go back and do all the rewrites that will be necessary to make it a fun novel to read, until then anyone who may get to read it will have to remember that it is a very rough draft.

We are off to the museums this morning, gotta keep the little guy busy while Daddy is away, and me too, otherwise the night stretches on and on and on.....

...just wanted to add one of those priceless photos of a sleeping boy.

Another Happy Sad Day

Yesterday was one of those happy sad days. My parents, J and I attended a funeral in Verdun, a suburb of Montreal. A family friend passed away. He was only 50 years old. But, and yes there is a but, he has lived a full and beautiful life. When he was born 50 years ago, he was deprived of oxygen. It was never said what condition he had exactly, possibly cerebral palsy. For 50 years he spread joy and happiness. His parents, at a time when kids were put into homes, kept him home with them. Loved and nurtured him and never spent a day without him in 50 years. His parents are now in their late 80's.

When most others are spending their retirement years resting, they have been taking care of their son. His father said to me yesterday, "We were so worried about his quality of life after we would be gone. Now, we don't have to worry, he is in a better place that we could ever give him.". The pastor remarked how he was such a happy man, a man who to most of us was still like a child, he was always smiling, always keeping everyone on time and never forgot anything.

When I was about ten, I kissed him on the cheek when we said goodbye. He never forgot that kiss. I was very embarrased for years, we would see him and he would run up to me and point to his cheek for a kiss. I didn't know at ten that he would never forget, but he didn't . As years went on, I was no longer embarassed. It became such a treat that he sought me out at family functions for his kiss.

I say family functions, because even though he is not directly related to me, his Grandfather and my Grandfather were best friends. They travelled together from Indiana to open and work in the Congoleum (the stuff that came before Linoleum) Plant. His Grandfather decided that he had enough of the asbestos and big city of Montreal, so he took his family to Delaware and bought a farm. If it weren't for Popop as we used to call him, I would not have the love for Delaware I have today. Sadly, my Grandfather passed before he could make the break back to Indiana, but if he had gone back, I might not be here today to tell the tale.

This happy member of our extended family will be greatly missed, but we all know he is in a much better place and I am sure it won't be too too many years before he will see his Mom and Dad again. I hope he is having a great time with Popop and my Grandpa right now.

No Lasting Effects

As you can see from this photo, there have been no lasting effects from last weekend's episode with my Dad. We had a great time at the Santa Clause Parade of Lights on Saturday night.

The kids loved it, My Parents loved it and the spirit of the season has really kicked in. Tree Handsome men, J, J2 and J3 are loving it.... And below, if you look closely past the ski bunny of a younger Sister that I have, you will see the tiniest(she is actually not that tiny anymore, but she looks tiny here) little Baby Neice Peeking out.

Just Because

I am so sick of this weather. I needed to see the beach...
The first one is San Diego... the second is Rehoboth Beach... I love them both... equally.

Halfway Mark

So, not only am I halfway into my novel, I am also halfway into my ivf cycle. I thought I should write a little drivel about it because Nancy noted that she would send any of her cheapy unused pregancy tests that she got at The Extraordinary Baby Shoppe.

I love this little treasure of a store. I don't have much luck going there at the right time during the day, but they are always open online and I have made many a purchase. In fact I still have a wack of HPT's that I will most likely never need again, but hey they were only a couple of bucks. They also have wonderful cloth diapers, I have wanted to try them and wonder if I will do it if I get pregnant again. They also carry some wonderful slings and baby things, some of which I make myself others that I only dream of making.

Anyhow, so my update is that I am at the halfway mark. I have been on birth control (I know ironic isn't it, that I cannot get pregnant, but I must take birth control to start the cycle) for almost 28 days, this helps the clinic time when everyone comes in. Then last Saturday I started on Suprefact. Now this little gem of a drug helps put my body into menopause so I won't ovulate. So far not too bad, I have had two evenings of mild headaches. I haven't been on caffeine for a bit now so I didn't have to wean off it like I did when I cycled for J. The worst part this time is that the injections I have been giving myself in the leg have been hurting very badly. I have had lumps and bruises like I have never had before. I am not sure if my muscles are bigger and thus affecting it, or if my legs have just changed that much in four years. Either way today I used my stomach (oh so much more fat), which I was saving for the next drug, but it worked out so much better that I think I will stick to the tummy for now.

On the 24th of November I will, hopefully if all my levels are correct, be starting Puregon. Now, Puregon is the drug that beefs up the follicles and helps juicy up more than one or two for retreival. We have decided to go with 125 instead of 150 like I did with J. After our experiments this past spring, we know that I am responding even better than I did for J, so we lowered it just a little. If all goes well, and we grow just enough good follicles, then I will have the egg retrieval and trasfer somewhere in the week of December 5th. One week after I had ER and ET for J.

At this point I am feeling really great about this cycle. There is really no reason for it to not to work, except that sometimes it doesn't. I have been through this before, at the same time of year, so I am hoping that God will provide us with another miracle to bless our holidays.



On another note, our computer problems are fixed. The router was somehow blocking cookies, so some sites were not visible, mostly my blog sites. A quick reboot and we were off and running.

And to add one more drop of good news, My Dad visited his regular Doctor and looking at the results from the Emerg, it looks more and more like he did not have any heart failure, but just an irregular rythmn most likely caused by stress. Phew. And if only I was like my Dad, he is already down 12lbs and feeling really good about it. Of course most of it is likely water that he was holding in his lungs, but it doesn't matter one bit. The thing that keeps you going when losing weight is actually losing it. His snoring has already decreased and both he and my Mother are getting much better sleep. And he has been working only 10 hour days instead of 12 (we are working on getting him to an 8 hour day again).

Having very strange computer problems

I can't see half the internet right now. I can't get into Google, and I can't see any Blogger sites except the one to post. It has been two days now and I am lost without Google and reading all my favorite sites. It is strange that I can still post though.

Here's hoping that we can fix this today, I am assuming it is something at my house, but don't entirely know for sure.

On a good note, I am at the halfway point in my novel. So far so good, I have really been enjoying making people up and giving them a life. I fear a few inconsistancies but, those would be fixed in an edit afterwards, should I choose to actually edit my novel. If nothing else it has been truly lots of fun. I am hoping it will give me the inspiration to finish a few other projects I have on the go right now.

Intervention, Done. Votes Casted!

Yesterday was definately tough. My Sister and I held our intervention complete with the help of Mom. Dad knew it was coming and tried to get us to stop talking. But, when I started to cry he stopped and listened. The most important words I had to say were, "I am not ready for you to go Dad." And you know what? He heard each and every word. I told him that I understand how hard it is to lose weight and all we are asking is that he tries. If he only loses ten pounds then that is alright with us. We just want him to try. The Doctors will most likely make him lose a lot more, but we got him off on the right track. I brought gifts of fresh fruits and a trail mix of seeds, nuts and dried fruit for when he has the munchies. I also brought lemons for his water, to make it more fun to drink. All in all it was good, just tough to tell your Dad something he should know better about. And we love him so much, that is what was most important to convey.

Since it is municipal voting day here, we made sure we casted our ballots. J didn't tell me I did a good job this time, but he sure loved pretending to play basketball in the gym of his school. He really can't wait for school now, I don't think I will have a choice but to register him for four year old kindergarten next year. He is just too excited to get there and start learning. I hope he doesn't get too upset when they don't spend the entire day in the gym. Anyhow, I digress. We voted, we voted, we voted!!!! I hope to hear that all of you in our area voted too!!!!

Can't wait to hear who wins!

Natural sugar may be the way to go

After my last post, it is ironic to post that my father, who really needs to lose a few pounds spent yesterday at the hospital. He was having trouble breathing. We have all asked and begged him to lose some weight, but until you make up y our mind yourself it just doesn't work. My father has not been to Emerg since... well, the '70's when he broke his arm.

The Doctor's aren't exactly sure what is wrong with him, but he did have fluid in his lungs and possibly has some congenital heart failure. Possible. The interns wanted to check him in yesterday, but when the doctor finally showed up at midnight, she saw no reason for him to stay. He will however have to go to the Heart Institute for further testing. The Doctor did say one thing for sure... you must lose weight Mr.

And so it begins again. My Sister's and I have decided that he needs an intervention. We have all agreed to help him by giving up our treats, etc. as well. He gets to eat way more calories than my sisters and I but, we will go at it with him and help him in anyway possible. He won't have to join a gym because we have one here in our house. So, he will have to work out, like it or not.

So again, I will give up my sweets and hope that some fresh fruit full of all things sugary and natural will have to do. If I can't do it, there is no way I can expect my Dad to.

A little experiment

This week, I thought I would cut out all forms of sugar other than my three 1/2 teaspoons in my coffee in the morning (yes, 3 cups of decaf every morning... have been on that ritual for many, many years) and anything with natural sugar. I started on Monday and by yesterday I thought I was going to sink into depths of dispair.

I did well, wasn't tempted even by the offer of Starbucks from my sister. I just thought if I cut it out cold turkey, I wouldn't crave it so much. I never used to crave candy all the time, but now I seem to want it always. Now, I don't keep it in the house everyday, but it doesn't mean I don't want it everyday. Somedays, I don't crave it, but crave a Chai Latte from Starbucks. I am pleased to say I am down to one or two trips a week. The newness of it being so close to my home is wearing off. Now, I am treating as just that a treat.

Ok, back to the sugar. I thought I could cut it out. Eat healthier for a bit, counteract some of the side effects of the fertility drugs I will be starting soon. I won't be able to work out as much when I take them so I wanted to get back to basics. Except by yesterday, I was sliding into the dumps. For no other reason than, I lacked in sugar. I felt lethargic, like a tonne of bricks, like I just wanted to sit on the couch forever. I didn't even want to work on my Nanowrimo!!! I didn't even want to ... gasp... eat dinner!!!!

I promised myself I wouldn't cave. Then today, my girlfriend came by for lunch, I had some lovely homemade butternut squash soup for lunch, with some fresh fruit for dessert. Except the fact that she brought cinnamon buns, complete with extra icing and oozing sugary goodness. I am so weak. I could not resist. But, I tell ya, within minutes I felt fantastic!

Is it possible that I need sugar every day? I never used to need it, I could go weeks without sweets and treats. Is it because I used to smoke and drink wine everyday? Is it because I was so busy at work or school that I didn't feel the need to stop and eat a sweet? Or did I actually eat it unconciously and never realized that I ate it everyday anyway? I bet you that is what it is. I probobly ate treats all the time and never realized it.

Anyhow, the experiment is over. To counterbalance the extra indulgence today, I headed out for a 5k walk in the crisp fall air, with a little bit of sunshine peeking through, just to tease me a little. I know the rain will be back tomorrow. I actually thought it was the cloudy rainy days that were getting to me, but the instant gratification from the sugar assured me that I can live without sun, but I truly cannot live without sugar. At least I have been a little cleansed and have no more candy in the house (that is not J's) and I can earn my way back into a treat a day.

Here's to a sweet filled weekend!

We got one!!

An Advent Calendar for Christmas. Thanks to Nancy, we found some at Mrs. Tiggy Winkles at Bayshore. We went with one from Playmobil, for two reasons. The Lego one was a bit more pricey and J kept saying "No Thank You" to Lego. I think it is great to introduce him to Playmobil. He loves little people to play with and they have a really cool Noah's Ark, which we have been reading about and J is showing lots of interest.

We are on our way to an exciting and eventful Christmas!!

Should we really be surprised?

That they couldn't make it work? I was really rooting for them. I always felt bad for MsSpears, she always seemed to get caught up in just the wrong thing. Then they had their kids and well, you always want to root for the family to stay together. I couldn't even imagine filing for divorce, well exactly, I couldn't even imagine filing for divorce, but with a newborn and a year old baby, it just seems that they didn't have much of a chance to begin with.

My only hope is that whomever has been advising MsSpears these past few years has finally been fired. With her new outlook on looking better, it would seem that she might be getting some advice that is better than what she has had in the past.

Here's hoping the kids have a loving home and the proper direction they need.

My Hockey Star

My poor little Hockey Star. He has been so grumpy for the last five days, between the hours of 1 and 3. Hubby and I have not been able to figure it out. Sleep, check. Food, check. Playtime, check. Oh, what can it be? Yesterday, my oh so smart Sister suggested, perhaps he misses his Opa!!!

And to this I had to agree. Opa would play with him for a few hours every afternoon, after we finished our morning stuff. Every single day we do something in the morning together, J and I. But the afternoons are left free because I usually run out of steam. Opa picked up the slack, so it would seem that perhaps I need to pick up where Opa left off.

Anyone up for a game of shinny?

This, that and the other thing...

Novel is going well, I am at 10,000 words! Can you believe it?? Jo(e) suggested I post an excerpt here and there to let you see into the life of my novel, but I am a bit nervous. Her idea is so great, but the only thing keeping me going so far is that I know nobody else is reading what I write. And I am not even sure I want anybody to read it when it's done, not without some editing at least.

More snow came and went this weekend. I seem to go in and out of the holiday spirit when that happens. And poor J keeps thinking it's Christmas already. I don't know how I can keep him from thinking it is Christmas everyday.

Over at Ann's blog she posted about this new great blog called Kiddley, it showcases stuff for kids. It is so great that I had to highlight it here too for the one or two of you that might not catch it over at Ann's blog. Ann finds the coolest stuff sometimes. There is a Lego Advent Calendar in the Kiddley Links section. I really want to see if I can get this for J, he would just love it to pieces, so far not available in Canada, but they do ship to the States.

I was actually thinking of making my own Advent Calendar, but this one would be such a hit, I may have to find one.

I hope you all have a wonderful Monday, it looks like the sun is going to peek through. Perhaps with the extra rain and clouds we had throughout September and October, November won't be our gloomiest month of the year this year! Here's hoping :)

Caution, meager posting for a bit

Since I am trying very hard to keep all of my thoughts and words for my novel I have to admit that my posts might be a bit light for the month of November. I am at the 7300 word mark and if I keep up the rate of 2400 words a day, I should be finished by November 20th. Wouldn't that be a treat! I feel really great at giving myself a deadline and sticking to it. I have lots of support here to give me time to write, so far all I have needed it two hours in the evening.

With winter fast approaching, we are going to be spending the weekend doing the last few outside chores and taking down the Halloween decorations. J still thinks he should be knocking on peoples doors and asking for candy, but we are slowing convincing him that it is a one day holiday until next year.

We had some snow the other day and it totally put me in the Christmas spirit. I am half finished gifts for the family, so I just need to work on the other half and some for freinds. I am trying to get all the difficult things out of the way early as we will be going in for our IVF in early December. All I am going to be doing after that is resting and hopfully snuggling some embroys for a long winter's sleep. It was at this time four years ago that we did our IVF for J, so this is not new to me at all.

We also said good-bye to Opa on Wednesday. It is always sad when he leaves, we miss him so much, so I have been trying to keep J busy so he doesn't miss him as much as us grown ups do.

2,337

Words down, 47,663 to go! I thought I was doing well until I saw others on the Nanowrimo site post their word counts as 4500 - 6000 words. I gotta get crackin if I want to keep up and get this novel done.

A post-Halloween Post

Having not grown up celebrating Halloween, it is a really big step for me to allow J to go out and prowl the neighbourhood. My family is Christian and do not believe in endorsing a holiday that celebrates the dead, amongst other things. I totally understand where my parents come from and did not feel like I missed out on anything, but rather revelled in the fact that we went to fun awesome restaurants and were just plain different than other families.

Hubby was a big time trick-or-treater. Since we have been together he has made me hand out candy while he took A out collecting it. Last year, since the weather was nice we hung out outside with the neighbours while distributing candy. J was only two so we did not dress him up. As the night went on he got the gist of trick-or-treating and walked up to the neighbour and said "Trick-or-Treat?". Thus began the countdown until this year. Since Opa was going to be here, he requested to take him out. A decided he wanted to be with J too, and Hubby went. I stayed home and gave out candy. Again it was a nice night so I hung out with the neighbour and chatted to the kids that came by. They thought I was a nut, but hey, they are begging for candy!

J brought home a huge haul, almost as much as we gave out. The boy kept going and going and going. Hubby, A and Opa all had pockets full of candy as the little pumpkin didn't hold much and they did not bring an extra bag. J has been pretty good, allowing me to dish out a few treats here and there. He asked me if we could have Halloween again today, so I had to explain the holiday thing to him. Of course, the biggest mistake I made was saying that we have Christmas next. All he has talked about today is Christmas. Yikes and with a month and a half to go!

**Edited to add photo.

Day One

Of Nanowrimo.

I have characters in my head, a few lines sketched about them and a setting. I may possibly have a plot, but am not entirely sure as it may change as I go along.

I am a little nervous and a lot excited. I think I can do it, write a 50,000 word novel that is. I have enough ideas stored up in my mind. The key will be to write at least 1667 words everyday. Or write 5000 for ten days, wouldn't that be awesome? But not likely.

If I acheive this, I will be able to strike another thing off of my 10 things before 40 list, of which, I need to remember two more. Or else it will become 8 things before 40 and that just doesn't seem right.

Let's hope I can stay inspired for a whole month.